It has come to our attention that, along with the dying art of letter writing, celebrating individuality and innovation is rapidly going out of style.
As an organization, Anonymous Edmonton wishes to combat apathy and instead applaud individuals daring to be unique. People with the courage to be enthusiastic over the mundane, to be excessively courteous, and willing to challenge the typical shall be acknowledged for their important contributions to the city of Edmonton. Those chosen will be featured on this blog, and will receive a letter accompanied by a ribbon in the mail.
If you see someone/something in Edmonton that you wish to nominate please email us at email@example.com
We look forward to celebrating you and all that makes Edmonton “The City of Champions”
Regards, Anonymous Edmonton
Dear Kory Mathewson,
Congratulations! Your mullet has been chosen as the sexiest mullet in the city of Edmonton! Your fearless style and daring hair choices have been noticed and moreover applauded. Rarely is someone willing to commit to a hairstyle as wrought with disaster as a mullet and successfully pull it off. It is truly commendable that you are able to maintain being sexually attractive when rocking a hairstyle, which even when current, remained questionable at best.
Your mullet is business in the front, party in the back and sexy from every angle.
Despite the pleading of barbers throughout the city to cut it off, Anonymous Edmonton wishes you nothing but sincere congratulations for your coiffed and dangerous hair style!
Well done Kory!
Dear Ian (Candy Concierge Extraordinaire),
Congratulations! You have been chosen as the most enthusiastic Theatre Employee in the city of Edmonton! Your overwhelming enthusiasm for your job is contagious to all those lucky enough to be served by you. Not only do you provide popcorn to the patrons of the Princess Theatre, you welcome, engage and delight them. People know precisely who you are in vague passing references “he was the joyful man who gave me my drink accompanied by the slightest flourish of a bow”. You boldly stand out in a job that you could vanish into. You go above and beyond the common courtesy usually given with movie treats and you should know your joy and spirit are truly appreciated.
You embody the Princess Theatre: enchanting, unique and timeless.
We commend your exuberance and look forward to having you serve us again. Well done sir!
Dear Home Owner,
Congratulations! Your home has been selected as having the most innovative exterior in Old Strathcona. Your architectural prowess is greatly appreciated by those wandering along Saskatchewan drive, and although there may have been skeptics when the house was first built, your bold material choice paid off. The copper paneling only looks better with time. Thank you for breaking away from the norm and challenging Edmonton to stop building indiscernibly identical houses.
Your home is truly superior to the rigid concepts indicative of traditional house aesthetics.
Please accept our heart filled congratulations as we celebrate your home!
Dear Daft Punk (DP),
Congratulations! Your graffiti has been externally nominated, and we are thrilled to announce that you have been chosen as Edmonton’s graffiti artist with the greatest positive impact! In a city where graffiti is facing widespread eradication, you break away from the redundant norm and grandfather in military mice, the camelephant, bumble beavers and a voice for graffiti artists. Your hybrid species and well-executed stencil work begs the question: how are people still disputing whether graffiti is truly art. Your work is innovative, original and intriguingly humorous. You use art to voice political opinions, to delight viewers of all ages and to share with Edmonton a part of who you are. It transcends paper or canvas and has pioneered the way for a higher caliber of graffiti in the Capitol City. And although individual pieces rarely survive past a month, your skillful presence throughout the city is enduring and for that, Anonymous Edmonton commends you!
Although you remain anonymous, your artwork is far from it. “Draw. Cut. Spray. Together we will stencil out censorship.”
Congratulations! Your garden has been chosen as the most romantically unkempt rose garden in the city of Edmonton! You have let your garden grow without the hindrance of over-grooming into a stunning mess of roses that would make the Garden of Eden envious. You bravely allowed your flowers to overtake your front yard and conquer everything in their path. Consequently, your yard emits an ethereal fragrance powerful enough to stop pedestrians in their tracks. Its sheer lack of human interference has borne roses so wild and entangled bees are no longer the only ones attracted to it.
Your garden is a place that conjures vivid images of girlhood whimsy, and Shakespearean lovers. It is a rare place where plants thrive over the ever-expanding concrete jungle and for instigating that growth Anonymous Edmonton wishes their heartfelt appreciation.
Again please accept our congratulations as we celebrate your prowess as a gardener for allowing your garden the artistic freedom to define itself.
Eagerly awaiting next spring,
Congratulations! You have been chosen as having the most dynamic yoga playlists in the city of Edmonton! While it is doubtful Kayne West intended his music to be paired with downward dog, it’s likely he would be just as thrilled about it as we are. Your music and classes sharply contrast the predictable yoga atmosphere and never fail to invigorate those in attendance. Much like mango and cayenne pepper the combination of yoga and rap music is delightfully unexpected but nonetheless brilliant. Thank you for following your instinct when carefully selecting songs to help your students twist further in the Utkatasana, lunge lower in their Warriors and balance precisely in Dancers pose. Your music and playful instructing inspires lightheartedness in the face of overwhelming heat and the ever tempting notion of quitting.
Kid Cudi, Common, Martin Solveig, MC Yogi. You are a true visionary.
Congratulations! Your home has been selected as the most Inhabitable Castle in the city of Edmonton! Your clear passion for medieval culture delights us. Despite the obvious impossibility you would face in selling your castle house, neighboring communities find themselves jealous of Lendrum’s notable and enchanting castle dwelling, and so for that we salute you. You unabashedly committed to deep-seeded boyhood dreams, damning all that scoff and abandon their own plans, of owning a castle. You are Edmonton’s long awaited answer to our Knights of the Round Table conundrum by claiming the title of our cities modern day King Arthur.
Turrets, knights, stained glass windows and even a spittoon: Your castle house may not rival Edinburgh or Versailles but for the Canadian mid-west it stands alone.
Congratulations! You have been selected as the “Most Zen Waitress” in the city of Edmonton! Your relaxed attitude and heart warming smile starkly standout in the Sugar Bowls hectic atmosphere. You possess the ability to convey a sense of calm and warmth in casual conversations with passing strangers and moreover you carry yourself in a manner of grace that has been seemingly lost in our city. You have the ability to de-stress even the most rushed customer and for that we commend you!
You are genuine in the truest sense of the word at a job where it’s far from a prerequisite.
Congratulations! You have been selected as Edmonton’s “Most Uncatchable Leader”. Your efforts for running weekly Manhunts and Edmonton’s Unofficial Capture the Flag league have been noticed and applauded. You come armed with glow sticks, chalk and a love for games most write off at the start of adulthood. You fearlessly instruct diehard players and new members alike in a calm but ever welcoming way and then step back to let the games begin. You never ask for accolade and merely run it for the love of the sport. Moreover because of your unwavering new management style Edmontonian’s get the opportunity to hide, seek, sneak and steal well past the age of twelve. Your leadership is quietly admirable and your competitive game play deceptive but oh so enviable.
You are never to old to act like a child and we want to thank you for reminding us this twice a week.